I Was Countin on Forever
by Jacob and Embry's Dirty Secret
Summary: this is a one-shot. Based on the song 'Just a Dream' by Carrie Underwood. full summary and such on story inside. so please R & R. xD


**okay so this is not from anyone's point of view but it's Leah i'm writing about, if that makes any sense at all. so please read and tell me what you think. i really hope you like it. i just love this song and i wanted to write a story based on it but wasn't sure what to write. so here you go.**

**FULL SUMMARY: Jacob went away to war and ended up dying and now this is the day of his funeral. it's all about how leah is feeling and wanting answers to questions know one knows the answer to. **

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She knew she should have prepared herself for this day. But how do you prepare yourself for something you have no control over? The answer is, you can't. And when that day does come, you try and convince yourself it's all a dream, but what kind of dream takes away your other half.

Then you decide it's more of a twisted dream, one that you can never truly wake up from. It may disappear after time, but it will always be there tormenting and silently screaming to be let out. Then one day it will be too much and you'll let it out, and it will take over until there's no way of going back.

_**It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen  
all dressed in white, goin' to the church that night**_

As she was about to walk through the doors of the church to say a final goodbye to the man who will always hold her heart, she went back to the last time she stood on those steps. But instead of wearing white she was wearing black, instead of it being the happiest day of her life it was the saddest and instead of crying tears of joy she was crying tears of loss.

_**She had his box of letters in the passenger seat  
six pins in her shoe, something borrowed something blue.**_

Her hands began to shake as she barely held in her emotions, which wanted to take over and like a river come rushing out and take over everything in its path not stopping for anything or anyone.

_**And when the church doors opened wide  
she put her veil down, tryin to hide the tears  
oh, she just couldn't believe it  
she heard the trumpets from the military band  
and the flowers fell out of her hands**_

As she walked down the aisle, keeping her eyes on the casket that held the man she gave everything to lying lifeless and empty. She could feel the eyes of everyone on her, the looks of sorrow, grief, pain but mostly pity. Pity on the girl who just lost the one thing that made her truly happy, especially after everything she had gone through.

They all expect that she'll move on and find someone else to love just as much but she knew that she would never love anyone ever again, he was the **one **and she knows no one understands, because how do you go on when the person who was supposed to go on with you is gone. She finally reached him and let her memories take over as her tears fell like a million raindrops.

_**Baby, why'd you leave me? Why'd you have to go  
I was countin on forever, now I'll never know  
I can't even breathe.**_

She turns around and looks at the crowd.

_**It's like I'm lookin from a distance, standin in the background  
everybody's sayin he's not comin home now  
this can't be happening to me, this is just a dream.**_

She takes one last look at the man she has lost, and goes and stands with her family. They comfort her and try and reassure her that everything's going to be fine, but she just holds it all in and its like her body's gone entirely numb like everything she once felt died along side of him.

_**The preacher man said 'Let's bow our heads and prey  
Lord, please lift his soul and heal this hurt.'  
Then the congregation all stood up and sang  
the saddest song that she ever heard.**_

She watched as her family and friends lifted up the coffin, with their faces void of no emotion, only the exception of there tears falling from there emotionless eyes and down there face and onto the ground. Everyone followed as they walked out of the church, to watch the final stage, where she will finally have to except that he's gone for good and is not coming back.

_**And then they handed her a folded up flag  
and she held onto all she had left of him  
oh, well, what could have been?  
And then the guns rang one last shot  
and it felt like a bullet in her heart.  
**_

She fell to the ground letting go of all she had left. She lost sight of everything going on around her as the images of all the times they spent together play in her head like a song on repeat, they just kept replaying over and over.

_**Baby, why'd you leave me? Why'd you have to go  
I was countin on forever, now I'll never know  
I can't even breathe**_

Still not completely feeling like she's there she looks up at the face of her brother, full of pain and mostly loss. He'd not only lost his best friend that day but his roll model, his brother and in some ways he was like a younger version of his father, because it was like his dads death all over again but doubled.

_**It's like I'm lookin from a distance, standin in the background  
everybody's sayin he's not comin home now  
this can't be happening to me, this is just a dream.**_

"Why? You promised. Damn it you promised you wouldn't leave me, you said you'd always come back, you said that nothing could keep us apart. I knew you'd have to go one day but we all do, but not this soon, not like this. I didn't even get to say a real goodbye."

_**Baby, why'd you leave me? Why'd you have to go  
I was countin on forever, now I'll never know  
I can't even breathe**_

She wraps her arms around herself and looks at the stone the only thing left that shows he even existed. She hadn't even noticed that everyone had basically left, except for Billy, Rachel and Rebecca. Jacobs's father and sisters who he'd also left behind. Now he lies next to his mother's grave and Leah knows that she'll be buried right next to him, whether that's soon or in the future, only time will tell.

_**It's like I'm lookin from a distance, standin in the background  
everybody's sayin he's not comin home now  
this can't be happening to me, this is just a dream.  
oh, this is just a dream  
it's just a dream, yeah, yeah.**_

" I'll **never **forget you, and you will always hold my heart."

"I miss you so much it hurts, I love you."

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**soooooooooooooooo what did you think??????  
please leave me some love and review. i wanna know what everyone thought about this, it was my first ever one shot.**

**mwa xo**


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